Say it with flowers

I like the part in Piers Morgan’s diary where he wants to send his would-be girlfriend flowers, but knows that ordinary blooms won’t stand out from the crowd. 

Celia hates flowers, probably because she gets bombarded with the contents of Kew Gardens every week from admiring suitors.  But boring roses are one thing… I had an altogether more sinister idea in mind.

He sends her a nepenthes pitcher plant – exotic, carnivorous – with a witty note.  Celia loves the attention the unusual gift attracts at her office.

She rang in the afternoon, slight hysteria in her voice.

“That ugly plant you sent me has just shot some vile substance all over my desk, causing mass newsroom panic.”

“You liked it, then?”

“I loved it.”

Not for everyone, but he showed excellent insight into what would work for that particular woman.  And it’s always flattering when someone has that insight.

Me, I’d prefer “boring roses”.

Don’t You Know Who I Am?  Piers Morgan, Ebury Press, 2007

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